Thursday, July 01, 2010

Decisions.....

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Decision making is not easy. Especially when it is comes to ones life. I am not good in making decisions in my life whether it is my work, relationship etc. I feel so difficult to choose the best for my life.

Last weekend, i join youth camp organized by Lifeline Ministry at Bundu Tuhan Retreat Centre. They called it ARMOUR UP CAMP! I will not talk much about this camp but i will share about my experienced about decision making and letting go.

Before attend this camp, i hold so much things inside my heart especially about my work. I feel so much depressed because i thought that i have made a wrong decision to choose the job that i am doing now. Once, a friend told me this " Do works that u like to do. Do something that u have passion in it (Ko mesti buat kerja yang ko suka dan minat, jangan paksa diri buat kerja yang ko nda suka)." So, i hold into this principal for so long and make me regrets so much with my current job. What happen to me these past one year and a half? I struggle so much to like and have passion in my current job but i can't do it. The feeling of regrets will overcome me. It turns up with hate and dislikes of the job and affects people that i work with. I started to dislikes my workmates and people that i dealt with. There are so much things that i saw went wrong in whatever they doing and nothing seems right. HATE is overcome my LOVE for others!!

During the camp, i spend only about 10 minutes talking to Brother Paul after the sessions that night. I ask him this... "I have doubts and confusion in my heart about my current job and my previous job. What should i do?"... He gave me this answer.... "Do comparison between your two job/work scope. Don't just compare what is the job about but, do compare also your surroundings, people that you work with, your work environment and social life that you into. Which of these two jobs that GLORIFY GOD THE MOST!! His words has struck my heart and i am doing reflection on it and asking for the Holy Spirit to guide me and show me. What did i find out?


After comparing both of my jobs then i realize that my current job really bring me back to HIM. The activities and people that i met brought me back to Him. So much loves he have for me. I realize that it is on doing my own will that makes me didn't find peace and joy in my heart. Following His WILL is the BEST DECISIONS to make..... Maybe i am the lost shepherd that He want to bring back to HIM. Then i learn to let go of my previous job that for so long i hold on to. Letting go is not easy but when i surrender everything in His hands and asking for His guidance will lead me to His Way which i longing for so long.  


So, that is it all about decisions in life that i really need God to guide me and lead me to find the best in my life. To let go and continues life. To live peacefully and full of JOY and LOVE for His people... AMEN~ 

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