To Love or Be Loved - 24th Apr 2008

To love or be loved? I have been reading one blog that share a lot about love. When i get back home today as usual I will watch television shows and it is also a love story. Why love? I sit quietly on the sofa after have had my dinner and suddenly my eyes point to my bible in the cabinet. Actually when i read other blogger profile online i saw they wrote their favorite books is BIBLE. What's wrong with me? I didn't read my bible for so long. I took my bible and open it. I saw notes that i took when i attend Growth and Spirit Seminar last year.

It is about relationship with GOD. How we can keep our relationship with God, grow in our life? I read through the note and there were six thing that i have to do.

1. I have to set my private time with God by saying my PERSONAL PRAYER. I have to do this so that there were communications between me and HIM. 
2. PRAYER WITH OTHERS, which i can attend prayer meeting where i can pray and worship God together with the community. 
3. LOVE EACH OTHER. How to do that? By sharing my thoughts, gifts and experienced with others. That's why i think by blogging, i can do this too. The technology make the word of God can be spread more without boundaries. 
4. READING SCRIPTURE. I say prayers, God listen to me but how God's talk to me in response? Or how He want to communicate with me? By reading His Scripture, actually He talks to me and i have to listen to it carefully. By open my heart and desire to have the Holy Spirit in my mind. 
5. MONEY. Money is not just for my own comfort but for thanksgiving. I have to use it for the poor that really needs it.
6. USE OF TIME. Spend my leisure time for my sacred time with God.

I jot it down and i understand what its means but why i didn't put it into practice? What happen to me? Why i am changed a lot? I am really lost these few days. I took a CD of Growth in Spirit Seminar that my brother gave me last year. I watch the talk and it is also about CHRISTIAN LOVE.

What is Christian Love? First, begin to love God, second love our self and third, love one another. I begin to reflects it to myself and i realize a few things that happen to me.

I didn't open myself to love God at the first place so how could i can experience His love. I always blame myself when i didn't achieved what i trying to get and judging people around me by gossiping or critics. All of the three elements in Christian Love, i failed to put it into my life. No wonder in my heart there is no more peaceful and no presence of God at all. I build up the metal wall to avoid Him to enter my heart. My spiritual relationship with Him is block. Anger is always control me, it is not me that control my anger anymore. My negative thoughts is already covered my mind. How easy i was trapped in  this situation and push away myself from Lord Jesus Christ.

~~HELP ME LORD JESUS CHRIST. BRING ME BACK TO YOU. AMEN.